Incurable interfering with my life - considering suicide - please help!?

I have a very weird combination of a prison and feet , I like to look at feet and imagine that I am in prison in order to get . I know it sounds very weird but that is the way it is. I know it is weird but I cannot control it, and I've noticed I do not get by nude women or like most people without es do. I am 20 right now and am worried that I will never be able to have a girlfriend or normal life, b/c there is no way I'm telling my girlfriend/wife about this strange thing. Please take this question very seriously, I am not joking, and I am considering suicide b/c I will always be lonely and never have a life companion. Please help me, is this curable or is this a life curse?